19-year-old Burulai was studying at the medical university, but her plans for the happy life and successful career
did not come true. Mars Bodoshev, 30-year-old minibus driver, put his interests above Burulai. He made several attempts to kidnap the girl and marry her without consent. The family of Burulai started to hide their daughter. When Burulai went to the shop, some people grabbed her to the car and quickly left. The police arrested the car and kidnappers, however the policemen left Mars and Burulai together in the prison cell. That’s how the life of young, beautiful, educated woman ended – from four stab wounds made by the man who wanted to marry her, paying no attention to her wishes. Because she is just a woman.
This is just one case from the thousands happened per year. According to the statistics,
one out of 17 girls was married without her consent. 40% of people in Kyrgyzstan are sure that after the kidnapping a woman will be blamed, therefore she should not leave her «husband». 25% believe that a woman should obey a man, even it harms her life and health.
It is worth noting that if the kidnapper spends the night with the stolen, the parents do not take her daughter back, and she remains his wife. Mira was 16-year-old girl. She
once went for a date with a young man. He kidnapped her. Mira’s father came to the house of the kidnapper and denied take Mira back – she became spoiled and no one will marry her after that due to the public opinion.
The practice of brides kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan is outdated patriarchal tradition which grossly violated the human rights. The tradition of cooking a salad «Olivie» and watching the «Irony of destiny» in Russia is a good and nice tradition that unites a lot of people in our country. The tradition of huge celebration of the Christmas in the Catholic countries is also good – it remembers people about charity, love to the others and kindness. The bridal kidnapping is not that tradition that should be preserved, because thousands of women suffer and commit suicide.
According to
the United Nations 2016 report, 35-45% of all marriages very made after the kidnapping of bride, moreover, a lot of brides were girls of 15-17 years. This terrifying statistics gives us an understanding that this «tradition» violates human rights in terms of women and rights of children. Therefore, the government of Kyrgyzstan should implement the policy which will protect the people of their country.
The solutions of the problem should be made in the following fields: shaping of public opinion, change of laws and support of crisis centers. The most crucial thing to solve the problem is to give people the understanding that bride kidnapping is inhumane, cruel, archaic and barbarous method. The massive propaganda on media and billboard, at school and other educational centers should shape the public opinion that this tradition is a crime which should be fairly punished.
Not only the kidnappers should be punished, in my opinion. Policemen that deny the applications of victims, family relatives and friends who were involved in the process of kidnapping – these people who could help but ignored the physical and psychological suffering of women should be also punished due to inaction.
However, the judging of the guilty people is not the goal. This activity should also help the victims. The crisis centers for women should be supported by the government with subsidies and massive coverage on the governmental media. Why these measures are important? Women should know about the existence of such centers and they should be sure they will get help and support there. Moreover, I think that the bride kidnapping should be included in the curriculum at the jurisprudence faculties. A lot of women
cannot find the lawyer because there are so few of specialists in the issue.
The main factor that can prevent this policy of success is the public opinion deeply rooted in the culture. It will not take much time to tighten the laws, to create crisis centers or to install the billboards with the words «Kidnapping is a crime». Change in people’s minds is the main challenge. It is a long, persistent work of the state propaganda. This can happen only in case if the fight with the bridal kidnapping will became one of the most prioritized directions of the state’s work.
Some can argue that the government does not need it. I can argue this opinion too. The improvement of the Kyrgyzstan image on the international arena, the involvement of women, who could not work because of the forced marriage and patriarchal relationship with husband, in the workforce and economics, the decrease of domestic crimes and suicides – these benefits of the suggested policy are very likely to happen.
«A woman is a guest in the home of her parents. She must move to the place where she will be the householder and mother. This is the woman’s natural destiny», -
says 37-year-old Melis. His opinion is an opinion of the majority because of the traditional and collective nature of the Kyrgyz society. This opinion leads to the tough violation of human rights and the suffering of many women that had their own career plans, beloved man who they wanted to marry, but very forced to forget about their dreams to the egoism of another, often unfamiliar, man.
